Beer and BBQ

2009-09-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

It would seem that my local gang of teenage hoodlums has been following my blog. They must have read my account of my lil truck getting rifled through, and took offense at my sarcasm about nothing being worth stealing. They returned, and liberated my uncool sunglasses, and an ice scrapper in retaliation. I wonder what the street value of a 4 year old pink plastic ice scrapper is? Now the only things that are left are a cheap tire gauge, and an ink pen that may or may not work. I'd better watch my step or I'll be loosing those in the next week or two.

2009-08-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Spamwich !!!

Fried Spam, egg, cheese, and sauteed mushroom's and onion on lightly toasted wheat bread. I like to leave the yolk a little gooey, so when you bite into it, it runs all down you're elbow. Say what you will about Spam, but this is the shit. The only thing that could make it better, is a chilly home brew. Some people might argue that 8:00 a.m. is a little early to start drinkin the bier. Sometimes you gotta brake the rules...

2009-08-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

So, I go to leave this morning, and I notice the Ranger's drivers door is not completely closed. The first thing I think is, " this doesn't look like something I would do, I wasn't even drunk last night"(yeah, right). Now I'm worried the dope lights stayed on, and I now have a dead battery. As I get in, I see that the arm rest is wide open. So is the ash tray, and glove compartment. This is the work of some local punk ass kid, much like I used to be. Truck starts right up, no problems. I take a quick inventory to see whats missing. Nothing. That's because there isn't anything to steal. The owners manual is the only thing in the glove compartment. I don't smoke, so there isn't even cig butts in the ash tray. The radio is a crappy stock CASSETTE deck, that hasn't worked in at least 5 years. The arm rest contains and ink pen, an ice scrapper, and a super cool pair of sunglasses. The sunglasses are still there. Did I mention they are super cool? In the last 4 years, my truck has been gone through 3 times. The sunglasses survived each violation. Surely my fashion sense isn't that far out of wack. I think they are messin with me. The least they could do, is snatch them, and ditch them somewhere down the alley. Give me the delusion that I actually had something someone would want to steal. This is the vehicle they hoped to liberate something of value from, which they could then flip for dope. I think it actually qualifies for the cash for clunkers program. Dumb fuckers. At least they didn't kill my battery (or steal it).

2009-08-02T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm really likin my new camera. So much so, that I think the "Beer and BBQ" blog is going to get hijacked, and become the "Accidental tourist" blog for awhile. I'll keep doing this until I get tired of driving around taking pictures of shit nobody really wants to see, or I see the first snowflake of the year. Around here that means I have 2 to 4 weeks.
These pix are of Paterson state park, 10 miles south of Superior, in Wi.

2009-07-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

This is my new bad ass camera. It's water proof up to 10 feet, freeze proof down to 14 degree's Fahrenheit, shock proof up to 5 feet, and bullet proof up to 25 caliper. I'm gonna ride around some bad neighborhoods later and test this feature out. The only thing it's not, is idiot proof, and that's a feature I think I would probably use allot. Someone should invent that.

I want to go cruise around and take some random pix, just to see what the fucker will do, but this is a typical Superior day. Cold, and raining. All day. There is only one way I can salvage the day. I have to drink heroic amounts of home brew, and make a homeade pizza.

CHEERS !!!

2009-07-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to crack the barley.

This is what happens when you put too much weight on one end of the table, and then bump it. Try not to do this. All we lost was what was in the hopper, which amounted to about a pound of grain. It sucked, but it didn't crash the operation.

Sparging the grain.

Into the brew pot.

This is hard work. Let's take a break.

Careful it doesn't boil over.

Cool it down fast.

From here it goes into the fermenter. At room temp. we'll toss in a packet of yeast, and leave it alone for a week or two. Then we bottle it and wait another week or two (this is taking forever! ). Then, when it's finally ready, we'll drink it up as fast as we can.

2009-07-18T13:44:00.000-07:00

Not Beer, or BBQ related, but...

I came across this recently while looking for something else (which I never found). It's something I wrote about 12 years ago, when I was working the graveyard shift at a convenience store. Those all nighters will twist your mind for sure. While I would never do it again, I am glad I had the experience. The creatures of the night are a unique breed...

"Sometimes the raw city stench is almost unbearable. It all depends on which way the wind blows, and tonight, it's walking right in the front door, and collapsing on the floor like a homeless drunk with no place left to go. It smells like love lost, defeat, heartache. I try to neutralize the heavy negativity of the dead of night by badly over cooking a heart attack burrito. This misconceived idea not only doesn't work, but taste like shit. As I trash whats left of this microwave disaster, I suddenly become aware of an ominous presence approaching from the gloom of night.

silently she enters the store, scanning from left to right. Nervous, but determined, she moves directly toward me, her steel blue eyes piercing my very soul the whole way.

Ive seen this look before. Before she speaks a word, I know exactly what she wants. needs. She has a desperate, burning desire, that only I can satisfy. Still hypnotising me with those devil eyes, I see her lips begin to move. In a soft, almost inaudible voice, I can barely make out the words, " Marb lights, please".

My name is Joe. I work in a convenience store."

2009-07-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

This is why your fat.
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

This is a really cool website. It goes on for ever, too. I went through about 20 pages and didn't find the end. One pattern that I did notice, is that almost everything has bacon involved in it. I can respect that, as bacon is almost a religion for me. Let's pig out!

2009-07-15T08:20:00.000-07:00

My co conspirator, John has been assembling the implement's of destruction necessary for our first attempt at all grain brewing.

He has converted an old cooler into a mash tunn by connecting pvc pipe to what used to be the drain spout. He drilled many holes on the underside of the pvc pipe to allow the mash to strain. This should work pretty slick.

He also purchased 25 feet of copper tubing, which he wrapped around a welding tank to form a wort chiller. A couple of brass faucets and a little bit of creative soldering resulted in a rather professional looking chiller. I'm actually a little impressed with his creation.

The final piece is an unused turkey frier, still in the box, that he stole at a yard sale for $20.00. It even has a built in faucet. I never find deals like that at yard sales. All I ever find is miss matched Tupperware lid's.

We are almost ready to jump in over our heads.

2009-06-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

Here's some beef short rib's I cooked yesterday. As with any kind of rib, you have to go low and slow. I cooked these at 250 to 300 degree's for 6 hours. I used the 3-2-1 method. 3 hour's indirect, 2 hours with BBQ sauce wrapped in foil, and the last hour out of the foil indirect. Couple of veggie kabobs, and cob corn on the side. Oh, and can't forget the home brewed British Bitter Ale to wash it all down.

2009-06-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

Rib's ! What else can I say?

2009-06-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

Had some really thick boneless pork chops I wanted to use up. I cut them into large chunks, and brined for a few hours in a kosher salt, and brown sugar mixture. I then made them into shish kabobs, with apple chunks, mushrooms, green peppers, and onions. Brushed with BBQ sauce while I grilled hot and fast. Yow.

2009-06-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

I've been stuck on pizza ever since that squirrel broke my old pizza stone (that's right, I'm blaming the squirrel), and I got this new bad ass Chinese stone. Yesterday, however, was a typical Superior day. 42 degree's, windy, and rain off and on all day long. I had to do something drastic and unconventional. I used that big metal box in my kitchen. Homemade pizza. home brewed Blonde Ale. All is harmony, and Good karma.

2009-05-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

Down in the basement, past the security cameras, behind the false wall, and through the dead bolted steel door, lie's a secret vault. No one has ever seen it. I've only been brewing for about 6 months, but here I have amassed an archive of a 6 pack of every home brew I thought was good, to excellent. My diabolical plan is to wait 6 months, or whenever I feel like it, and have a taste testers party. Should be good times, and hopefully wont get out of hand, and require police intervention. If it does, the next taste testers party will be at your house.

2009-05-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

The exploding chicken alfredo pizza worked out very well last night. I didn't blow up my new Chinese pizza stone, and I didn't take any attitude from any squirrels. Unfortunately, the pictures came out pretty crappy, so you'll have to take my word that it was both beautiful, and yummy.

2009-05-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight's smoked chicken.

Whats that you say, smoked chicken? And what might you do with any leftovers you may or may not have tomorrow?

I'm glad you asked. I plan to revisit the exploding chicken Alfredo pizza. Tomorrow, I will fearlessly enter the Great Satan (Wall mart), and shamelessly buy a Chinese pizza stone. And then, it's on! Stay tuned sport's fans!!!

2009-05-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Went for a hot quick grill tonight, since I spent most of the morning bottling Yorkshire Bitter Ale. The local grocery store here has these riblets That are allot like those you get at Applebee's. Hit em with some rib rub, and halfway through started saucing with a spicy bbq sauce. Had some cob corn going on the side, and of course a home brewed Chanterelle mushroom bier. Sometimes life doesn't suck all that bad.

2009-05-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

Jailhouse wine bottled in retro Pop Shoppe bottles. I got 11 ten oz. bottles out of it. Alcohol content ended up at 15.06 %. They say you have to let it condition for 2 to 4 weeks, so obviously, I'll be trying it in a couple of day's.

2009-05-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

A tragic tale of love, loss, and heartache.

So I had some leftover smoked chicken I wanted to use up. It has been a while since I've made a pizza, and that sounded like fun, So I mixed up a basic pizza dough, with a little minced onion, and rosemary. After it had risen for an hour, I lit a fire of lump charcoal and hickory chunks in the Weber kettle.

I like to use a pizza stone on the grill. If I don't use one, I always end up scorching the crust, and the toppings don't get done. It's a typical day in Superior. 50 degree's, with a cold gusting wind coming right off that big lake. I don't dare put a cold stone on a hot grill, as I've had a little experience with thermal shock. On two seperate occasion's, Ive broke glass carboy's, by rinsing the cool glass vessel with warmish water. I know a few degree's can have a very dramatic, and fatal effect on glass, ceramic, stoneware, ect., so I gently warm the stone in my oven.

When the fire is almost ready, I pull out my warmed stone, and begin building my masterpiece. Normally, I tend to overload the pizza with topping's, but this time I'm going for a minimalist style pizza, with a cracker crust like Vintage pizza does. I sprinkle a little corn meal on the stone so the pizza doesn't stick, and stretch my dough as thin as I can directly on the stone. A thin layer of roasted red pepper alfredo sauce, is followed by 2 inch long thin slices of onion, and green pepper. Theses I arrange alternately into a spiral pattern around the pizza. Next is the smoked chicken. This I'm a little more liberal with. The last ingredient is a light dusting of shredded mozzarella.

The fires ready, so onto the grill goes my warmed stone complete with pizza. Without the wind, it would be downright pleasant outside. The birds are singing, gentle wafts of hickory smoke are coming out of the Weber's vent, and a squirrel is sitting on a lower branch of the poplar tree, quietly observing the whole process. All is right with the world. I should give the squirrel some peanut's.

After 20 minutes, the crust is golden brown, and the sauce and cheese are starting to bubble. This is truly a thing of beauty. I grab a couple of potholders from the house, and prepare to feast.

I gently lift it off the grill, and turn towards the back door just as a blast of cold Lake Superior wind hits me head on. The pizza stone explodes in my potholdered hands. I watch as if in slow motion as my pizza does a beautiful half twist in mid air before landing face down in the freshly mowed grass. There I stand in disbelief, with a stone shard in each hand, and my ruined supper at my feet. I could've sworn I heard that squirrel laughing. no more peanuts for him.

The home brewed Blonde Ale took the edge off, kind of, I guess, but that microwaved ham n cheese hot pocket I ended up choking down was a sad substitute for the dinner that should have been...

2009-05-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

need to work on the logo. Anyone good with graphics?

2009-05-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

Almost out of bier. better brew some more...

2009-05-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

Jailhouse wine almost ready to bottle. 3 can's Welches white grape frozen concentrate. 16 oz.s pure honey, enough water to make a gallon, and a packet of brewers yeast. You have to leave it alone for at least a month before you think about bottling.

2009-05-26T10:05:00.001-07:00

Abt's (Atomic buffalo turd's). Fresh jalapenos sliced and seeded, filled with cream cheese, and wrapped in bacon.

2009-05-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

Orange peel, Blonde ale, and Chanterelle mushroom bier fermenting

2009-05-25T10:51:00.000-07:00

Rib's!